Cariann, me, Catherine and Michael at an ornament party at my house in 2004
If I had to come up with one word to describe my relationship with Cariann, it would be “conversations”. When I was thinking about this, I was torn between the word “questions” and the word “conversations”. Cariann has always really loved to ask questions and has been very fervent about making sure she gets the answers. However, as I think about it, it hasn’t been so much the questions that were important to me as the conversations that ensued as a result.
When she was younger (I am 11 years her senior), the conversations I remember were about relationships (with boys), being an adult, politics. As we got older, the conversations were about relationships (with friends), health, food, religion, and crafts. In the past year the conversations were about relationships (with God), friendship, love, heaven, food, health, journeys, life, afterlife, sushi, family, religion, pets, books, our souls and death.
This year, we’ve really made time for the conversations and I have really valued this time. Death is a scary topic, and even scarier if you’re not sure if you’re allowed to talk about it. With Cariann, there has been no doubt that, not only were we going to talk about it, but that the conversation was going to dive deep into every crevice and bring it out of the scary darkness and into light. And, in the light, nothing is quite as scary. Continue reading